Say What?-Kiwi Speak 101

So I am learning my Kiwi terms and sayings...it is a very slow learning curve. First of all, I'm an idiot when it comes to figuring out the accent. I honestly can't tell a Kiwi accent from an Aussie accent from a British accent. (Sorry! I'm trying!) I can tell minor differences but right now i'm in the learning stages. What I have stopped doing is guessing. I didn't know it was an insult to ask a Kiwi if they are from Australia (Perish the thought!!!). The only thing I have gotten a small taste of is the Scottish brouge...Invercargill and Dunedin have very large Scottish populations. Every now and then we will get some immigrants from Scotland here in our city. It is so VERY easy to tell that accent. I don't know what it is but it makes me smile...its very rhythmic but edgy...I don't know why but it tickles my ears and I love listening to them speak. Now I'm sure I look like an idiot when i'm standing there, grinning ear to ear when someone asks me "Cahn ya tell mae whar ta baathram tis?" Call me silly, but it sounds cute to me!

My newest problem in not appearing to be stupid is trying to figure out some of the Kiwi sayings...Seems to me that they do something similar to what we do in the Southern United States...we shorten and condense everything:

"Ya'll".....you all
"All Ya'lls"....all of you
"Fixin to"...I was about to...
"I Swear fo God"...I promise you, if you continue with this current course of action there will be reprecussions!

In Kiwi-speak they drop the last part of the sentence..its up to you to figure out the rest...
"Sweet As"...you can finish up the sentence with whatever but they don't...
You can acually put any adjective in front of "as" and it becomes a statement or a comment, usually denoting contentment with something or describing something...
examples:
"Its rainy out tonight with no clouds"
"Ya, dark as"
Or:
"I think I got an good grade on my test"
"Sweet as"
Or:
"I had the heater on all night just to stay warm!"
"ya, its cold as"

Another thing I need to get good at is thinking on my feet. Today, at work a lady asked me if I wanted to get a drink...Here is the conversation and why I probably seem a bit slow to some people here:

Lady: Looks like we have a wee break...wouldya like a cuppa?
Me: waiting for her to say a cup of what....silence...
she's just looking at me...
Me: a cup of what?
Lady: a cuppa? Would ya like?
Me: what are you going to get?
Lady: a cuppa..
Me: Sure- I'll take a coffee
Lady (exasperated): ya, what I said, 'a cuppa'

So now I learned that 'a cuppa' is coffee (or maybe tea)...i'm not quite sure but you should just say yes.

The other thing you shouldn't do is argue with people on pronunciation..its their country, let it go...
Last week I got a little lost heading to the phone store. The directions were simple enough, it was across the street from the ANZ bank. Now, for most of us, we would say A-N-Z bank...very simple, all three of the letters, right? Not right in Kiwi speak. This is before I knew that Z was pronounced "zed". I was turned around and asked a man where the place was:

Me: Excuse me, where is the phone store?
Man: next to Ann-zed
Me: Oh, I think i'm lost, where is Ann-zed?
Man: down the street right there
Me: Is there a landmark I should look for?
Man: yep, Ann-zed bank, right across the street. Big sign in front.
Me: Oh, thank you...some one else told me it was across from A-N-Z
Man: Same thing, you could say it that way if you want

What was hilarious is the way they guy made it sound like I could say it A-N-Z if I really wanted to but it was wrong! So now I have to remember that "i" is prounounced as  "uh", "z" is "zed" and when someone says "Sweet As" they are not talking about your butt!

So now you know...I live in a place that is 'Sweet As', 'Pretty As' and 'Far As' that is mighty dear to get to but if you do you'll be 'good as gold'!

This concludes Kiwi-Speak 101

Ok...so for those of you who want to know and learn how to speak Kiwi, here you go: